If He led you to it, He’ll lead you through it

The swirling of emotions, thoughts, physiological reactions, and the daunting effects of confusion seem to take over the mind of those contemplating or going through divorce. There are plenty of people ready to preach “from whom confusion comes”, when in reality, unless and or until someone experiences the exact self-same emotions, thoughts and physiological reactions you are at this very moment, there is no real “comfort” capable of immediately removing such a swirling whirlpool brewing within.

Indeed, the Savior is, (not only), our greatest Comforter, but also our greatest Advocate. In the previous blog entry, I shared with you the quote, “If He led you to it, He’ll lead you through it”. The quote was not to make feel as if the Savior, Himself brought you to the point of ending your marriage... but He might be supporting your decision! IF, and do I ever emphasize that word IF... IF you have prayed about your decision... IF you have taken all you can take, IF you have done all that you can do, IF you have made every effort feasible to work things out with, (in this order - believe this or not) your Lord, YOURSELF and your spouse. Why THAT order? If you have not already wearied the Lord, it's time to do so! Talk with Him. Really, really talk with Him. Then... LISTEN. I'm going to stop right here and share with you an experience from my life during my move toward divorce...

Upon going through my "IFs", I came to the conclusion that indeed, enough was enough, I had had enough, I didn't want to go through anything more and I had made every effort to come to some amicable sense of prolonging the inevitable. One more day was not going to make a positive difference.  I decided to make the decision and end the marriage, to divorce. I then started wearying the Lord with fervent supplication for Divine direction. No, I did not receive immediate inspiration - the Lord allowed me enough time to think about my decision, mull it over in my soul for a few days and then all of the sudden a talk I had listened to a few years back came to mind. John Bytheway tells of his decision-making method. He makes the decision then states, “Lord, if I’m wrong, stop me!” For lack of a better way to say this, I put the Lord to the test... took my decision to the Lord and pleaded for the action answer. He’d either stop me... or help me through it! And that He did! BUT... not without the test of “knowing for a surety” that the answer was directly from my Savior. This is how my answer came about!!!!

Everyday, I’d contemplate all aspects of divorce, how it’d affect my family, my friends, my church standing and yes, I even thought about my reputation... there’s nothing that seems to stop any thought, positive and negative, when divorce enters the picture! With each facet of divorce contemplation, I’d first finish the “what if” question game, (because you cannot just ask “what if” and NOT have an answer!!!)... For instance; “What if my neighbor judges me for going through a divorce and starts rumors about me...?” My own answer was; “So, let her judge me... what happens when others judge you? They will be judged the same way!!!”

Then in earnest prayer, I’d offer this plea, “Father, I’ve made the decision to end the marriage and cannot do this without Thee, please, if I’m wrong, stop me.” About a week I was heading toward the appointment with the divorce attorney when I witnessed a horrible accident. I was the only witness. I had no cell phone at the time. A young woman had been broadsided by a truck traveling several miles over the speed limit. I tended to the young woman, best I could, hoping to flag down someone passing by with a phone that would call for emergency assistance. In the meantime, a question came to mind, (how such a question weaved its way into my brain at that time, I have no idea), “Father, is this Thee “stopping” me?” After the accident report was made and I was no longer needed at the scene, I started off toward the attorney’s office once more, now nearly fifteen minutes late. I called to inform them of my reason for being late. Just as I rounded the corner to the attorneys office, a truck pulling a trailer with two ski-doos pulled out in front of me causing me to, literally, slam on my breaks. My heart raced with worry - thankfully I missed a collision by mere inches. I honestly screamed out, “Is this THEE trying to stop me, Heavenly Father?” Tears welled up in my eyes as I pulled into the parking lot of the office of the attorney. Thankfully, a dear friend was also waiting in the lobby of the office to calm my nerves and offered a prayer that calmed my soul. Days later I was speaking with a member of the High Counsel, (also a psychologist), whom suggested I remember the admonition found in the Doctrine and Covenants, section 85, verse 6:

“Yea, thus saith the still small voice, which whispereth through and pierceth all things, and often times it maketh my bones to quake while it maketh manifest, saying”, and sweetly reminded me that only Satan cries and stirs up the souls of men with a “loud voice” (Pear of Great Price, Moses 1:19).

 Therefore, Satan would have me believe the thunderous sounds of the clashing vehicles and then later, the screeching tires should be a loud enough warner.... but ONLY if I was not aware of that precious “still small voice” - the cessation from thunder - the Spirit telling me to shhhhhh, “Be still, and know that I am God”.... the rescuing whispers from a tender and lovingly abiding Father in Heaven, who indeed, only wants what’s best for me.

I signed the papers that began the divorce process. From that time on, NO, things were not always easy, as only a miraculously lived life would provide, they were, however, manageable... so long as... I stayed as close to the windows of Heaven as I possibly could. Almost comically, I read a quote a local card shop that read, “Seven days without prayer, makes one weak.” Prayer was not only a daily-do... it was a necessity - an open line of communication with, as mentioned previously, my greatest Advocate - the Savior, Jesus Christ.

Remember; the Savior did not create divorce... but He will, however, IF IT BE RIGHT, bring you through it. (Doctrine and Covenants 9:8-9).