There is Life After Divorce

Did you find yourself on this blog-site because you have questions? Are you just curious? Or... are you contemplating .... what you may think... is the uh, hum, "UN-thinkable"... divorce? Regardless the reason, please read on. The intention of this blog-site is for women like you to find solace and refuge in your questions, contemplation and most importantly, with a decision often hard for women to bare, divorce.

Someone once said it is rude and callous for a person to say, "I know what you're going through", when in actuality whatever each of us experiences, is different in its entirety but true.  However, there are elements of coincidence and actuality of every divorce case, so please, just this one time, allow me the opportunity to share with you the truth of "I know what you're going through."

I want to introduce myself... my name is Debi. In my early fifties, a mother of two grown children, "Grammy" of three precious grandchildren, employed full-time as a paralegal for a law firm right here in Utah, a practicing Latter Day Saint and... a woman of divorce - after a twenty-six year marriage! So, how different am I, so far, from you? Oh, yeah, I'm divorced and you're not, right?

If curiosity is getting the best of you, let me give you the simplified explanation of my divorce... Irreconcilable Differences. That description is the most commonly used reason / title for the majority of divorces in America. I'll leave it up to surf the internet for the best description of irreconcilable differences. In the meantime, let me just provide you with the best analogy for such a phrase: a garbage disposal of all reasons for divorce! Seriously, sometimes a divorce action is labeled irreconcilable differences for the sake of the children. Women often worry about what their children or family members will surmise if their divorce is titled "Domestic Violence", "Marital Adultery", "Infidelity", etc.  But the worry most women place on themselves is the very sad question; "what will my family think of me?"; "will they blame me"; "will my children ever forgive me"... "if I go through with this divorce?" The answer is... (again, here I go sounding callus, myself....) IT CANNOT MATTER what others think of your decision to what may very well be the best thing you've ever done for yourself, for your sanity, for your peace of mind, for your own self-esteem, for your children... for your future... for your life!

Before you read further, you need to understand that although I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, the Church does not endorse this blog-site. I offer what education I've gleaned from leaders of the Church in hopes of helping you with your personal trial, the trial that often accompanies the actions leading up to divorce, the pre-divorce process, the emotions of divorce and YOU, all the feelings and emotions that can bring you to the point of self-deprecation. You do not deserve such degradation... you've been through enough already. You are a daughter of our Heavenly Father and I promise you, He loves you beyond any love you've ever known. I KNOW there are moments of darkness and deep sadness, worry and feelings of complete loneliness. The promise is sure... HE loves you. If you could find solace in this one little affirmation; if He brought you to it, He will bring you through it. And if this little blog-site can be of any help to you... then we're doing the right thing!