Divorce - Is This What You Really Want?

So often a person contemplating divorce is asked “have you done everything you can to salvage your marriage”? My answer was, “yes, hence the reason I’ve given the idea so much thought”. Divorce is the most commonplace action in America and it is also known (although dissipating in numbers), it is predominantly men who usually cause or create the conditions the lead to divorce. Although many people believe divorce is not the only answer to marital difficulties, it is certainly a means to an end and justified as such. By now, if you’ve been contemplating divorce, you, too, may have been asked if you did all you cold to work out your marital problems. What is your deepest and most honest answer? I’d venture to bet the answers vary just as much as the reasons for divorce! What constitutes “doing all you can to salvage your marriage?” Have you prayed for help? Have you followed the counsel received from such prayer. Have you sought the assistance from your clergy and have you heeded such counsel? Have you met with a marriage therapist? Have you reasoned within your heart and mind that you know what went wrong in the marriage and why it went wrong? Have you simply come to the conclusion that enough is enough and “it simply isn’t worth trying anymore?” I understand your answers... and your reasoning.

The attorney’s I’ve worked with over the years ask many questions, making sure their clients really are completely IN ALL THE WAY with their decision. Let me explain; remember when you were little, or when your kids were little, and someone fell out of bed? Why’d they fall out of bed? Because they weren’t all the way in! In marriage, if you are not all the way “in” then it’s fairly easy to fall “out” of the feelings, emotions or reasons why you were ever in the marriage to begin with. If you are not all the way “in” with your divorce action, several things can happen. One thing is, you can be talked out of the divorce! You might change your mind! You’ll fall for any suggestion “just to be out of the marriage”. You have to be all the way “in” when you petition a divorce action. So, if you’re not sure what the arguing has been about that led to your decision to divorce, how can you be sure why you want a divorce?

You then need to ask what you’re really after in seeking a divorce. Did you fall out of love and there’s no way of falling in love with your spouse again? Are you the victim of domestic violence? Are you the victim of adultery? You’re hurting from the inside out for many reasons, if you’re seeking a divorce action. But are you also afraid? Will you need a protection order? Have you given everything a good thought as to what is involved in divorce? What is the end result of your expectations when all is said and done in the divorce action? Have you figured on alimony? Will you have to pay alimony? What about child-support? Child visitation? Is the cost of divorce worth the cost of remaining in your marriage? At this very moment, are you feeling confused? Well... I want to settle your confusion. First of all, remember, confusion is from the adversary and you cannot allow room for the adversary to creep in! Although divorce is a life-altering decision, it is a decision, with a great deal of help, can actually end up being the best thing you’ve ever done for yourself and even for your children! So, lets get on with the steps to your divorce action!